ZLATA Goddess of flexibility

After the short programme at the ice-skating competition WM in Tokyo, Sara was placed 9th because she had not been able to do all of the compulsory elements. So she had nothing to lose in her free programme. In agreement with her trainer, she decided to show a sexy, flexy free-programme unlike any seen before. She began innocently in a blue dress that was high at the front and buttoned at the back behind her neck. But the skirt was not entirely able to cover Sara’s full Latino behind. The many conservative Japanese spectators also noticed fairly soon that the regulation panties were missing! As she skated gracefully into the centre of the rink, the first murmurings went round the crowd. Apparently unaffected by this Sara began skating to Serge Gainsbourg’s “Je t’ aime .. moi non plus�?. She started conventionally with a triple and 2 double jumps according to regulations. Then, whilst skating backwards, she bent herself forwards, pulled her chest through between her legs, placing her hands around the bottom and pulling her body up so that she was able to press her chin towards her crotch. In this extreme frontbend she was now able to see in the direction in which she was travelling and also the crowd, who now applauded conservatively. Then she performed a further prescribed element step-sequence into the middle of the rink where she span in a beautiful Bielmann pirouette. Whilst she was doing this, the TV director focussed on the panel of judges who were nervously discussing amongst themselves. Focussing back on the ice, the director blended in a shot of Sara’s smiling trainer. At the end of the pirouette, Sara didn’t lower the extended leg, but pulled it even further, bringing it down over her head. Then the little blue skirt slipped unexpectedly onto the ice. After loosening the knot, the material now lay on the ice. The public were open-mouthed in astonishment. A sponsor had developed especially for her a see-through, insulating spray interspersed with small gold stars. These began to sparkle under the lights, and made the whole scene like something from another world! Sara balanced on her right leg and pulled the left leg up behind her towards her torso. She grabbed hold of the skid of the ice skate. Slowly she stretched the leg up and over into a 270 degree split, then leant down and placed her other hand on the skate on the ice. This had never been seen in ice-skating before! The arena fell silent. Then Sara continued to pull on the upper skate until this joined the other skate on the ice, reaching a full 360 degree split – a new world record! Loud cheers echoed around the crowd as Sara, still in this amazing oversplit pose, spun beautifully around the rink. Arriving back in the middle of the rink, she let go with her hands and all her limbs flowed back into their normal position. Sara’s achievements were celebrated by a sea of waving arms. The director cut back again to the spectators as it was now obvious that Sara had completely broken the rules about ladies panties. She was not wearing plain tangas, but a special silver strap, as recently modelled for Badenixen on the RTL midday show. Particularly suggestive for the Japanese audience was the black genital hair visibly poking out from under the strap, just like Alain Bernadin of the Crazy Horse in Paris invented. The male spectators could hardly contain themselves when the TV picture was blanked out. But still the ice princess continued with her programme, performing perfect jumps and step sequences whilst semi-naked. Only when the organisers managed finally to switch off her music, did she return happily to the middle, raising both arms up behind her and dislocating her shoulders. She folder her hands in a prayer position and waved to the public be swinging her stretched arms backwards and forwards. Her marvellous body (measuring 1.72/65 D/38/78) shone in the blaze of lights. Many spectators stood to their feet and applauded her. Sara smiled and began to bend backwards again, further and further until her heads brushed the surface of the ice. Her legs were completely straight and she placed her back fully against them. Her sweet bottom rested on the back of her thighs, with her hip joints completely dislocated. Once again, the arena became completely quiet. And then her head began to move between her spread legs, hands reaching through the pelvis, bending the trunk in an unbelievable backbend, until the shoulder sockets rested above the knees. In this completely new extreme wedged position, Sara began to pirouette with arms spread wide out beyond her thighs. To the thunderous applause of a standing ovation, she drew her arms in which accelerated the spin. The public joined in and applauded and called out rhythmically in time with the speed of the spin. Sara positioned herself in front of her dress on the ice and then continued to lean back and bend her knees until she was able to pick up the material in her hand. Elegantly she allowed the blue dress to flutter behind her hands as she span in the extreme backbend. Finally she covered herself up, and now dressed, left the arena. She was embraced by her trainer as she reached the artists’ bench. Everyone waited nervously for the marks. The jury did not know what to make of these figures that were not in any of the regulations, and decided to disqualify Sara. The stadium broke into uproar and the judges retired to safety. Spectators crowded onto the ice, slipping all over the place. Fights broke out everywhere and the public made their displeasure at the judges’ decision very clear. This was how contortion was subtly introduced and the media once again had a new story to report.